Martin, Poster and a wedding

Martin is my friend - he is in his 50s and his hands and feet have been eroded away by some illness. He smiles, laughs and makes jokes. His English is excellent, and he sits on the street asking for money. I saw him on the corner of a road last Sunday, bent to say hello and commented on the busy road. A car spun round the corner and he yelled 'One way! This is a one way road... oh cars.' He cracks me up.

Poster Man continues to be a joy. It takes emotional strength to walk by that way and see him, because my heart is emptied of love whenever I see him. His face lights up with absolute delight, and he laughs throughout our exchanges. He grasps my hand with both of his and enquires where I am going and what I'm doing with his wordless gestures. He is the first one I loved in Uganda, and he continues to rule my heart.

On Saturday, friends from church got married. Andrew heads up Frontline Ministries which reaches out to homeless boys in Kampala. His wedding to Erina and reception was attended by around 35 street kids. Reading Matthew 22 and Luke 14, I can now picture the scene: a wedding feast attended by the poor, invited in by the Master. Dirty shoeless feet dancing to wedding music, hungry mouths eating a wedding banquet, homeless children celebrating a new family. It was wonderful, a sight I shall not quickly forget.

My most precious, heart-draining thought is of these friends in heaven. Poster Man walking up to me with restored legs, speaking in his God-restored voice... Martin dancing around waving his perfect hands around, laughing in the second life as he did in the first... Boys finally at home with their Father, accepted and redeemed and loved. Oh God, may my heart never become hard to this thought, this reality! 

I pray that these precious moments in Uganda are burnt upon my English heart forever, not to be forgotten but treasured. I pray never to forget these men and boys whose lives continue even after I've departed for home. And I trust God with them, for He alone holds them and changes their lives. I will have to walk away one day and trust that He will take care of them. This is hard... Below is Barclays Bank Man. I would gladly gather him up and take him home. As I would the others - giving them a home and family. What a heaven-like thought!

Singing in the sanctuary and suffering in the streets

I have a problem with church. I can sing about how lovely life is and then walk outside and find it has NO connection. So, imagine my happiness at FINALLY beginning 'Desiring God' by John Piper (yes, Johnny, finally) and finding the intro to echo my own questions. Piper has found that singing in the sanctuary and suffering in the streets are in fact ONE experience of worship. 


Piper is perhaps most famous for his lifelong mantra: God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. He calls himself a Christian hedonist... The longing to be happy is a universal human experience, and it is good, not sinful... the pursuit of pleasure is a necessary part of all worship and virtue.

This is liberating! There is a very real philosophy which says that if you ENJOY working with the poor, you have essentially been selfish. If you gain PLEASURE from playing music, then it was not a gift of worship to God, but self-indulgence. 


Piper is smashing this. God made us emotional, and He made us to crave pleasure. This is not a natural tendency designed to stump us, but designed to maximise life and make it good! 

It's ok to love dance, or music, or the Imperial War Museum - just do it well! Do it fully, indulge your fascination and excel. And through it, KNOW God, praise God for achievement, and seek Him more for a deeper engagement with your pleasure. 

Almost / Am lost

I started typing 'almost' for the title of this blog and misspelt it as am lost, which also works! I'll consider it a divine intervention.


The big home-coming is in a couple weeks - I am really looking forward to it. But am also dreading the inevitable 'uncomfortableness' that will rear its ugly head at some point during the home visit. It can't be seamless to travel from the slums of inner city Kampala to the wide and open high street of Brentwood. Maybe it will be the shock of being surrounded by white faces again. Or the enthronement of technology which can steal life and purpose and potential. 


I wonder when the shock of 2 different realities will occur. It's not as if every memory of life in the UK has left. Nope, I can remember everything, for it has been my life for 28 years. BUT another experience has also been gained with consequences so obvious and embracing that it will make the 'home' reality feel ... odd. 


Scenario 1: Imagine staring into faces of skinny and smiling children as they yell 'sallo'. Imagine challenging yourself to look them fully in the face with all their beauty and potential and slowly shaking your head to indicate you have nothing to give them. Which is a big fat lie, but it is inconvenient for now, and it is easier to carry on and over the next 2 minutes forget all about them. 


Imagine then returning to the UK where children are honoured, cared for, encouraged to experience 'childhood' and looked after with varying degrees of love.


Granted, there are some REAL downsides to life in Kampala... BUT I would hate for you to think that there are only down sides. Oh no, there are tremendous benefits. There is faith in God, a deep heart-felt delight at waking each morning unscathed by sickness or bereavement, a contented 'norm' that dictates lifestyle, neighbourly and community responsibility for looking after one another. We miss all this in the UK. I agree with Mother Teresa that poverty is rife in the West, only it is a different kind of poverty. We do not see street children so much, but we see addiction, depression, loneliness, desperation and suicide daily. 


And so I fear that my poor old mind and heart will struggle to grasp this new poverty, and may even desire the relative simplicity of financial poverty which requires good brains and breakable hearts to pour intelligence into politics and multi-level transformation. Perhaps that is also what we need in the UK?


Almost home. 


Am lost in the process. 

It can only be...

God.


Following a blurry week (see previous post), something incredible happened yesterday. A (God-given) inclination to visit a completely different church brought with it a divinely appointed reunion with an old friend, Wendy Ward. A woman of authority, wisdom and knowledge, she was like cold water to my thirsty soul. A coincidence? A chance happening? I don't think so. I think God knew what I needed and shifted me to get there. 

After all, how many friends do YOU expect to bump in to in Africa?

... Especially when you've been challenged to the core with Biblical truth on gender and exactly what this means for a single gal like myself. Wendy is the number 1 person in the world I'd want to ask, and here she is. 


... She is a connection to the life-before-Africa, and one with insight into the past and able to ask poignant questions. 


I'm very thankful and humbled to realise God knows where I am, what is happening and how I'm feeling, and He is more than able to provide a specialness to make remind me He cares.

Blues and blue skies

Well, life has begun to throw questions my way once more. I still have 11 months in Uganda but it doesn't seem long. Assumptions have been shattered and new ideas birthed, as always happens, and between the computer screen and my heart, it's unnerving and causing me some un-peace. 


It's an odd time at the moment. Feeling unsettled, sleepless and discontent and yet enjoying each day. Waking up feeling blue and pinning the 'feeling' on somehow lacking enough solid time with God to make me 'feel' better... a thought now hits me: perhaps the feelings are supposed to be a bit grey at the moment. Feelings must bow the knee to truth and can be based on lies. Truth lifts the heart and head. 


Perhaps God is re-emphasising a truth learnt and treasured in times gone by... this day, in the haze of grey skies and sleepless nights, what will be the foundation?

• Feelings which drag me down but are without depth... a simple exploration corrects the balance
• OR God's truth 

I've learnt, forgotten and remembered the correct order: Truth, Believe, Behave, Feel. Seek the truth, choose to believe, behave accordingly, and over time 'feel' it. 


Dark and cloudy feelings are put there by our own forgetful minds and by Satan who pulls our attention from God and sinks us into the big, springs-sticking-out armchair of wallowing. 

Truth brings peace like a mug of milky hot chocolate brings comfort and warmth. Aw, that's better. 

March's Musings

... and the rains came down and the floods came up...

Not only in Japan (God help our brothers and sisters there)... but also in Uganda. The end of the dry season heralds rain and it’s wonderful. Dampening the dust, bringing green back to life, and relieving pressure headaches. Sadly Emma is not here to enjoy it but is back in the UK embarking upon a new adventure with Urban Expressions.

Emma’s Uganda

Emma and I loved the second half of her time in Uganda. She led a 2 hour Bible study for the teenage girls who are on Oasis’ Skills Training Programme, using rings as a visual aid for God’s value of us. A few weeks after, rings are still on!

Using Luke 19 as a guide, we hosted an Election Banquet for friends who work at the compound, and some neighbours. We had around 30 people in total on Sat 19^th Feb, and had great fun decorating the compound and learning how to make Ugandan food from Mama Julie and Mama Florence who catered. It was wonderful to see people ‘outside work’ and to serve them for once. Emma had great fun with the kids, and Elspeth, the neighbours and I fussed and pottered!

22^nd Feb was my 28^th birthday, and Emma and neighbour Elspeth went to town. I had a wonderful surprise gathering a few days before, with a home-made banana cake c/o Karen next door, and then the day before, the girls made a surprise treasure hunt and afternoon tea! The actual day was celebrated in style as Em and I went for 3 days to Murchison Falls.

Murchison Falls national park is a vast area of 4000 square kms and houses all kinds of animals. On safari, we were delighted and blessed to see 4 lions, 2 herds of elephants, scores of hippos and crocodiles, millions of warthogs and deer-like creatures (Emma learnt the names of them all; I did not) and 2 distant giraffes. We met people from Holland, USA and France, and thoroughly enjoyed Red Chilli’s facilities overlooking the most glorious view of the savannah.

Highlights include dancing in the rain, crossing the Nile at sunrise, absorbing the vastness and beauty of African countryside, cruising the river on the roof of a boat, and seeing elephants in their natural state. Low points included warthogs snuffling around our tent looking for a way in, and sleeping in a damp bed. Why damp? I don’t know.

On our final morning at ‘Murch’, we clambered over rocks to the top of the falls, and really loved seeing the crashing torrents of water cascading down their valley to the river. It was incredible. The amount of water passing through such a narrow space (6 metres at its narrowest) was breath-taking and beautiful. There was at least 3 rainbows down the falls where sun met water spray which provided relief from the BAKING hot sunshine. Emma was in her rock-climbing element scrambling up and down and wow-ing at the water. Ooh and for all twitchers out there, we saw 3 types of kingfisher.

Oasis

Things are going well at Oasis Uganda, and starting to get busy for me. On 5^th April, 4 girls arrive from the UK for 4½ months in Uganda as part of their gap year. They will stay and work at 2 fantastic placements in villages near to Kampala, and will come to Oasis each week for training and off-loading time. And possibly some chocolate biscuits.

There are also 2-3 other teams arriving over the next 3-4 months. Quite often a church group will come and spend time either in Kampala or Mbale (or a bit of both), and run a holiday programme or a sports week, or do some much-needed maintenance work with us. Hooray!

Health

Health has been a little ropey this month, most recently with a case of bilharzia (google it... urgh) which is a delightful illness caught from untreated water, in this instance, the glorious rainbow-topped Sipi Falls! Coupled with another infection, it’s made for a couple rough weeks, but hopefully I am on the mend. 

Frontline

Frontline’s Joseph and Richard are now at school in Entebbe, both of whom have recently started thanks to generous Britons! Frontline acting as a school-agency is a fairly new thing but hopefully this system will soon be smooth so that boys and families can be quickly coupled up and boys can begin benefiting straight away. 

Homeward Bound!

Between 6^th-29^th May I will be back at home for a mid-point visit! I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing family and friends, and meeting a few babies who were inconsiderate enough to be born whilst I’m away! I’ll be in Devon for the first and last week, popping by Nottingham 12^th-16^th and browsing Brentwood 16^th-24^th. Hope to see you all.

Godly musings...

Last Sunday, whilst worshiping at church, God plonked this thought: If we are the Bride of Christ, adorned and beautiful for our Groom, what makes up our decoration? God Himself provides the wedding gown, pure and white, and the gems and crystals which beautify the Bride are not merely glass. They are generous, self-less deeds done for the benefit of the poor. We are adorned with the good works we perform in this life. Good works do not save us (God alone drags us from the pit and stands us on the rock) but they do beautify us and relieve some suffering in this life; the only life where we CHOOSE how to live. So my question is: Is the Bride of Christ adorned? Today, how can we add jewels to her gown, rings to her fingers, diamonds for her tiara?  

 

(Elspeth’s) Memory verse:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7

Thank you so much for reading, and thanks again to all who email, I really appreciate it and love hearing from you. May you know each of God’s blessings,

Lindsay x

Garfield had it right

I hate Mondays.


Yesterday (a Monday) was a series of unfortunate events. I won't bore you with details, but the day included 5 taxis and 2 boddas over 7 hours (including a loud argument with a taxi conductor... who ended up being right) and a dead body. It began with misery - you know sometimes you wake up feeling miserable? That was yesterday. It ended ok having come to terms with the likelihood of things going wrong. 


ANYWAY, Emma has been here for almost 1 week and we are having a fantastic time! It's fun to show her around, and it's interesting to note how many 'Ugandan' experiences and sights I am now at home with, e.g. leaning scaffolding leaning and near-death motor related accidents. I remember what it was like when I first arrived, and am enjoying walking alongside her as she encounters things for the first time. And seeing tiny children begging. What once made me weep is now a daily occurrence and has lost the emotional tug. Just being honest. She reminds me of what's important.


I want to live like Jesus and do as He did, but it's getting more confusing the more I read the Gospels and realise what a hard man He was as well as a good and loving one. Yes, I want to feed the hungry, smile at the homeless, play with children and generally pour myself out for my brothers and sisters. There is no greater nor louder calling through the Gospels.


Jesus contained the authority and glory of God, yet put it aside to live fully as a man. He knelt before His disciples and washed their dusty, dirty, tired feet (I know what that is like now). He came to serve, not to be served. But He was not a doormat. He did not serve thoughtlessly but effectively. That's where wisdom is needed.


Where I am struggling - no, not struggling but searching for explanation - is in Jesus' words. They can be not nice and there's great mystery in the red letters. God is love, but He is not lovely (on a par with puppies and Milka).  It's hard. What is my role as His disciple? He was not nice and yet He was invited to dirty shin digs. He was magnetic, but utterly cutting to those whose lives were not right. Potent and fascinating.


Will we ever fully understand Jesus? No. I'd love to find more people brave enough to preach His words. All my favourite reliable preachers conveniently miss out a great deal of Jesus' words in their extensive sermon archives.


God helps - the gentle whispers and prompts of the Holy Spirit channels attention, affection and money. And He is Jesus. So I guess we can rely on Him for discipleship-lessons.

Janews

14 January 2011… 5 months down, 13 to go

It takes SO long getting ready for Christmas, and then it is over so fast! I hope that you enjoyed the festive period and grabbed a few moments to marvel at God’s step into humanity.


Christmas Day
Christmas in Uganda was great, despite a spot of homesickness, but thanks once again to Skype, cell phones and God’s niceness, the day was filled with people I love. Christmas breakfast was an elaborate affair shared with Lizzie, before we both hurried off to our respective churches. I just missed the rain as I jumped from the bodda and mounted the 10 flights of stairs to Calvary Chapel and into a special and beautiful service filled with the ‘tingle’ factor. A very skinny, chocolate-distributing Father Christmas made an appearance, confirming my hopes that he is, in fact, a Christian.


Onwards to Kampala’s shiniest mall called Garden City with 5 street boys for a slap-up meal of chicken’n’chips from various providers in the food court (for the record, Chicken Express was neither the best nor quickest). I shed a secret tear looking around at them and thanking God for making the day special for them and me. And from there to a Christmas dinner and get-together with a lovely family and their friends, orchestrated by Lizzie. The day was made even better by a phone call at 11am UK time by Pastor Pete at Sawyers Church, and an exchange of greetings and stories over the phone and microphone. I felt very special and wrapped up in love as my church family sang ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’ down the phone, and swallowed another lump in my throat! The day ended with a Skype home and present-opening together across the 4000 miles. Sadly, my brother didn’t make it to Devon, so the parents had to face their first Christmas without the kids… they seem to have survived rather well. Tea at the Grand, darling?

On a Jolly
Lizzie and I then drove to Lake Bunyonyi (via the Equator) which is a beautiful, quiet and CHILLY place in SW Uganda, near to the Rwandan and DRC border. We had 6 wonderful days on the lake bouncing between the 29 islands, bird-watching, reading books, sleeping late in our ‘luxury tents’ (I’m not sure ‘camping’ was the right term after all… we had a double bed each) and swimming. It was terrific, and I enjoyed the sensation of needing a jumper and pair of socks! But living entirely without electricity was interesting, especially finding the tent in the dark. Thankfully the fireflies and lanterns helped.

Highlights included: walking around the island accompanied by kingfishers and weaver birds, swimming from one island to another and back, playing cards in front of the roaring fire, showering outside under a cleverly engineered bucket-shower, eating wonderful food with 3 good friends, reading a great book, and being surrounded by breathtaking beauty.


Back to the real world…
We returned back to the Oasis office on Monday 3rd January, only to be struck down with various ailments! Gill got malaria and suffered for 2 weeks, and 8 other employees fell ill with colds, ‘flu and, in my case, a bacterial infection and VERY sore back (connected?). Our training programme has been pushed back 2 weeks, but a lot has been achieved in terms of moving desks, resettling and beginning to pick up work for new job roles. The Central office, where 5 of us sit has been reshuffled and feels great, and what was Bambejja (which is now called the House of Hope) is utterly transformed to accommodate our 4 new departments – it looks fantastic!


The first quarter of 2011 will be a lot of admin and planning. We are overhauling our website in line with Oasis’ new branding, writing newsletters and annual reports, and I must put everything in place for various short and long term teams arriving from April. All of a sudden, it seems like a short time before returning home for a visit in July/August and for good in Feb 2012!


Please continue to pray for colleagues moving into new roles and departments, and especially for those assuming roles of management and leadership. We are very excited to get started on projects, and work towards meeting targets. The new strategy should unwind very satisfactorily, since there will be clear goals and targets which will help quantify our level of service to the locality. Our work will be specifically channelled through agreed and long-term methods, rather than trying to help lots of different people – far better for the community, and far easier to manage and develop.


The rest of life
Non-work life rotates a lot around home at the moment! I’m not 100% well, and enjoy evenings and weekends resting. Hopefully the energy will flood back in, and the travelling adventurer will emerge once again, but for now, a cup of tea and good book does very nicely.


However, in 2 weeks, Emma Stone arrives for 1 month. We are off to Mbale for 1 week to spend with the Beersheba Project, camping at Murchison Falls for 3 days, and avoiding election riots (between 9-14th Feb) by holing up at home with plenty of food, water and DVDs… I’m really excited about Emma coming to see and explore Uganda, and also getting involved in some kids/youth work whilst here, which is her forte. She also has some charity work lined up with Frontline...


Calvary Chapel is becoming home more and more, and I am really enjoying both the services, and also spending time with Frontline Ministry. Sunday morning services are spent side by side with boys associated with Frontline, and also often accompanied by my neighbour Elspeth – I’m delighted she has started coming! The words, prayers and songs acquire a depth of meaning to me unknown before because they are shared with the homeless. The Bible reads differently… Prayer shifts… Songs become either profound or ridiculous…

Thanks so much for your love, and for reading this far!


God bless you in ways you hope for, and in unexpected ways


Lindsay x

From the Birds Nest, over Lake Bunyonyi

Health Watch

Well, a brief one today, after a monster gap in blogging. I'm ill again, hence picking the bile-coloured font.


This time, a bacterial infection of the digestion... no comment except a word of warning: steer clear. I am one of 8 off from Oasis this week for similar ailments apart from one particularly icky case of malaria (sorry Gill). And another bizarre symptom of this bug is an incredibly sore back. My hips hurt, my shoulders are agony, and everything is... well, just uncomfortable. Sitting, lying, standing - it's no good. And I'm getting a little tired of it, and would like to feel normal again. 


SO... antibiotics and painkillers on top of the normal meds fill my pill box. I'm rattling, it's bad. I think I should stop ALL pills and see what happens. I'd love to rely on God for health every day, and ask Him for healing whenever my head aches... maybe it's a lack of faith, but as John Perkins says take Tylenol, and trust God for miracles we can't do by ourselves. 


Shameless plug: 'Follow me to freedom' by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins - a conversation about leadership and followership. (Thanks mum, great Christmas prezzie)


ANYWAY, moan over, love from Uganda x

New Year, New Day

A new year... did anyone else wake up on 1st Jan and think 'this should feel more significant'? The problem is that 1st Jan is just another day, in this case, just another Saturday. The new year produces no more challenge or choice than any other new day. 


The power of a day, TODAY to be exact. Today holds within it unlimited potential, opportunity and decisions which could change your life. Choosing to live, work and love hard. Or choosing to live, work and love easy. Both sets of choices, even picking the middle road, create a future. If you choose TODAY to live well, you create a different tomorrow from what might have been. 


What legacy do you want to leave? What do you want to achieve before you die? You better start making decisions now, or these things will never happen.


Praise God. He is faithful every day, and He will take however much of yourself you choose to give Him TODAY. If you offer Him a measly 10%, He'll take it and make the most of it. If you offer Him 99%, He will take it and make the most of it. 


Bearing in mind God made us, knows us and loves us... shouldn't we offer Him our empty hands every day and ask for His maximisation? Bearing in mind He alone knows what makes us the happiest, most content and most purposeful, shouldn't we give Him our own small and unadventurous life-plans and trust He has a better one? 


Say you work in a dull job. It pays the bills, and it is tolerable. Life ticks by, the weekend comes around, and before you know it, a year has passed and it's 2012. What would happen if in Jan 2011 you gave God your life, job, mortgage repayments or rent... and asked Him to fulfil His will and build His kingdom on earth using 100% of you? Maybe He asks you to quit; maybe He doesn't. Maybe He asks you to continue but asks you to downsize and use your money to help those without food and clothes and homes. Maybe He asks you to continue but make a real effort with the office's difficult person, praying that 2011 may be the year they come to Christ and are transformed... transforming you at the same time. Maybe He does ask you to dramatically ditch your job, home, 'security' and swan off into new directions... is it really that dramatic, or is it the ultimate act of sanity? To trust One more reliable than the economy, to do what He knows will bring you joy and satisfaction? Bettering the world until Christ returns and smiles at you for joining Him in the adventure? 


Choices.


I choose to bow. I choose to do as God prompts (we KNOW when He does, it's a feeling in your stomach, a whisper into your mind, an awareness of something that needs doing) whether that's climbing after £millions or living from nothing, trusting Him for daily bread. Neither is more noble. Only Godliness counts, never a payslip. Sure you can get more stuff, but you can also entirely miss God's BEST soul-satisfying, earth-changing purpose for your life, and then who is rich on their death bed? One who lived without stuff but followed Jesus, choking on the dust from His feet, or one who lived with stuff but kept 100 paces behind Jesus, out of earshot, in case He asked something difficult? Since He is the One we share eternity with, nice to get to know Him now, don't you think? While there is still an earth to save and a Saviour to serve.  


I want my life to count, and to this end, I want to want to watch less DVDs and invest more 'spare' time in knowing and loving Christ and my elusive 'neighbour'. I want to make 2011 full of purpose, joy and depth, and this is through learning about, and experiencing Christ.


He's a tough cookie. People wanted to kill Him, people followed Him then left Him. Those who devoted their lives to the glory of God despised Him. He didn't only address children and hug lepers, He also spoke harsh and confusing words, challenging every root of security. He literally pulled the rug from under feet - removing EVERY (formerly) trustworthy and reliable source of identity, value and purpose. He reduced people to... people, and yet instilled in them a purpose so powerful and mind-blowing that they were elevated to the throne room of heaven.

Oh Jesus. We will never fully know Your mind and Your depths, but we can know You by the Holy Spirit now, TODAY. I'm more scared of not following You and regretting later in life the missed adventure, than I am scared of following You into the unknown where I might be poor, subject to illness and poverty, and without my own family and home. One sacrifice for another - which is bigger? 


2011. 365 days (God willing) to know and love God, to know and love our neighbours, and to choose to respond with Christ's responses in every situation. To love as He loves, to ache where He aches, to pray what He prays. 

Bow down... heart open, hands open... ears ready to hear and courage to say yes...