It feels like a breath of fresh air to restart this blog. It is self-indulgent, and it gives me the chance to summarise thoughts and feelings which otherwise can linger undisclosed and only partially understood. Maybe nobody in the world will know of the existence of this page, I do not really write for an audience, but to capture something that is happening in my life, and express it in a way which satisfies my mind and heart. Of course, I dream of being hit by a bus and dying prematurely, and people reading this blog and feeling a heart-connection with me! Of course.
So, here we go! The span between this post and the last has been huge, and there is too much to say about all that has happened in the middle, but a summary of what today looks like: It is Monday, I am soon to be off to work at Grace Church. From 9am, I am leading our staff team and interns in a time of worship reminiscent of those we share in Malawi. Sunday Review and Planning meeting later in the morning followed by Social Hub in the afternoon. This evening, I am hosting a time of prayer for Social Justice ministries.
Mondays are busy and they are usually accompanied by dread first thing in the morning - Monday morning blues which can only be combated by the intervention of the Holy Spirit (and Aldi's pecan & maple granola). I have tried satisfying my own comfort, taking control - none of it brings me peace, it is only asking the Lord for help and allowing Him to flood my thoughts. What a gift that He loves to give His Spirit. Sometimes with drama and often with a peaceful calm which settles over me 10 minutes after asking in frustration.
I have found prayer to be a singularly effective means of receiving peace and joy. There are so many reasons prayer is wonderful. For me, an extrovert, it is a means of externalising my needs, my love, my praise. It also restores balance to my mind and emotion. And it provides a clear way forward, as God gives me ideas. And what an added blessing - God hears my prayer and answers; what a joy when His generosity and my asking collide and I am given new faith in the One who knows me, loves me and has everything I need. Thank You God!
As usual, I am swallowing down self-recrimination which robs me of my joy in God's salvation. This morning, I choose to focus on the goodness of God covering all my sin and presenting me blameless and perfect this morning before the throne of grace. I am forgiven totally and utterly. I am welcome before the Lord, I am destined in be in glory forever and ever and today God is good.
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