In loving memory

Today is the 11th October 2012, and I am dragging myself through the week of normality, remembering back to times of heat, smells, crowds and rhythm in Uganda. Re-reading all my blog posts has not helped very much, as I remember the inner turmoil of daily poverty and the vivid reality of looking a brother or sister in the face and deciding what to do. I recall specific moments of interaction, and almost overflowing with love. I have not felt that since moving back from Uganda, and I pray to do so very soon. God - bring me people to know and love as dearly as those in Kampala!

It is cold in the UK - physically cold, but also relationally and spiritually cold. Investing in one person, trying to introduce them to Jesus seems a massive undertaking. In Africa it is easy - you see someone's abject poverty, give them a coin and a smile, and walk away immediately gratified knowing that you have done something small but meaningful. The greater issues of poverty are not confronted: holistic change through education, relief from corruption and the energy required by every community member to change habits. Poverty in Africa is hot, dusty, smelly, thorough and complicated. 

Poverty in the UK is cold, bound by red-tape and equally complicated. As we all know, poverty here does not involve widespread homelessness, desperate illness and malnutrition (although increasingly it does involve these things), but fundamentally it centres around depression, loneliness and boredom. Oh, and spiritual deprivation, of course. The poverty is real, but people are less likely to ask for help or even recognise their own need.

The balance of life is not yet perfect - my time is divided up into the typical segments of work, home, church and 'other', but there is not yet a substantial portion allocated to 'social justice'. I moved to Nottingham to obey the call of God to return to Grace Church (which is wonderful, by the way) and get involved in social justice. My raison d'etre is still in the formative stage, and it is sometimes a little tedious waiting for the finished article of 'purpose' sown into each week-to-view of my diary.

Having said that, I have a great job with a Christian company committed to providing good, Biblical books to inspire and deepen faith. My excellent housemate and I have spent time getting to know the neighbours so as to share the Gospel over time. I am helping monthly with Street Pastors, and with a feeding programme and food bank in Nottingham. Some people are never happy!

God has kindly given me a book to help during this transitional time; 'This Ordinary Adventure', written by a couple who have lived all over the world as missionaries, and are now trying to 'settle' back into life in the United States. Their struggles, insight and reflections are precious. They sum up so much of what I feel, and I cannot wait to see how God brings them into a new, Western adventure that matters and satisfies them.

Moving to Uganda was tough, and living there was difficult and conjoured an impossible number of emotions and thoughts. Moving from Uganda was easy... until recently when I have begun to miss the urgency of life and people who became precious. Frontline boys, smiling men begging on the street, church friends, Oasis colleagues, neighbours. 

Today to do (thanks to Heidi Baker):

• Make today a string of opportunities to serve people.
• Choose love in every conversation and encounter. Do not look for what I can get out of someone else but give them attention and kindness.
• Yield to God. Let go of my bad moods, tiredness and impatience and adopt God's love.
• KNOW and LOVE the poor in Nottingham. Learn from them and plan change around them.
• Surrender my money, time, future plans (of lack of), friendships, health and hope to God who knows the end from the beginning and will provide daily opportunities for 'good works', rewarding them with 'well done'.

Existing in Nottingham is as important as existing in Uganda. Ministry and mission in Nottingham is as important as ministry and mission in Kampala. Hear God; obey God - that is all we can do, trusting that He will mould us into His well-designed, eternal and specific purposes.